Mar 14

Like a comet through the blogosphere…

Joe Konrath, author of the ‘Jack Daniels’ series, has recently written a book (under the guise of his Hyde-esque alter ego Jack Kilborn) which one blogger describes as ‘compellingly freaky’…the title is AFRAID, and he is on a tour through the blogosphere to promote it.  While his previous books have included a healthy dose of humor, AFRAID has one purpose and one purpose only – to scare the pants off you (and with luck, the pants of the dude sitting next to you while you read on the bus…you really can’t buy advertising like that).

Now, as many of you already know, Joe is notoriously shy…some would say his introversion borders on psychosis.  That said, he did come out of his shell long enough to grant a brief interview:

JAMES: Thanks for dropping by Joe.

JOE:    Thanks for having me, James. I’m halfway into this blog tour, and I’m curious if you can come up with some questions that I haven’t been asked yet….

JAMES: It has been said that humans are more frightened by the threat of mutilation than they are of death.  Do you believe this, and if so, is that belief reflected in AFRAID?

JOE:  Haven’t been asked that one yet. 🙂

Yes, I agree 100%. Fear of mutilation, and fear of pain, are powerful fears.  I threaten my characters with both of these in AFRAID.  I don’t, however, threaten them with the biggest human fear; fear of public speaking.

JAMES: FDR, on the other hand, said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself…does this provide solace to your characters when trained psychopathic lunatics are dismantling the hinges to the front door?

JOE:  Yes, FDR did say that, didn’t he? But what has he said lately? Not a damn thing.  That oughta teach him.

JAMES: I’m trying to start an internet rumor that when you were writing AFRAID, you broke into a house a night and wrote each chapter from a different person’s attic without their knowledge.  Can you confirm that this didn’t not happen?

JOE:  I can neither not confirm or deny that. And your attic has mice.

JAMES: What is the best way to dispose of a 150lb human corpse?

JOE:  Digestion.

JAMES: Your ‘Red-Ops’ members are described as ‘Hannibal Lectors with Rambo training’…without giving too much away, how many human faces (that’s *faces*) get eaten in this book?  Please tell me it’s a lot.  Have YOU ever thought about eating the flesh of the living?  What if you were, like, really hungry?

JOE:  There’s biting in this book. A lot of biting.  And, in fact, I dug the biting so much that there is also a biter in TRAPPED, the next Kilborn book.  I tried to get my publisher to use the tagline: “It Bites!” but they didn’t like that for some reason.  If I haven’t answered the question, yes, there will be biting.

JAMES: You’ve stated repeatedly potential readers are wooed by entertainment and information, but have you considered the efficiency of bribes and to what effect?  As a second part to the question, what about physical intimidation?

JOE:  How about both? “I’ll give you $100 to buy my book or I’ll kick your ass and then steal your $100.”

JAMES: Do you think the Kindle will ultimately improve book sales?  Will it move us closer to a true paperless society, and by what name will our future mechanical masters be known?

JOE:  The Kindle is terrific, but it still costs too much. When it comes down to around $150, I’ll buy one.  I can’t wait to steal a bunch of ebooks and fill it up, like I did with my iPod.

JAMES: I read somewhere that whether or not the consumption of asparagus makes your urine smell funny is linked to a single, autosomal, dominant gene.  Do you carry this gene?

JOE:  Not on purpose.

JAMES: Have you considered poisoning the pages of AFRAID, and then providing the antidote in the pages of the sequel?

JOE:  I’ve done one better. Your blog now has a computer virus that will keep downloading free porn until you buy AFRAID.  Actually, that may not really be an effective motivator…


JOE:  LOL! BYOB or ur pnwed, n00b!  Now go out and buy AFRAID. I was serious about the porn.

So, there you have it folks…now, I don’t want to start any kind of internet rumor or anything, but my attic actually does have mice and there is no plausible way Joe could know that unless he had some kind of ‘inside’ information – I am absolutely not suggesting in any way that Joe would do something like break into people’s homes while he was writing AFRAID and author each chapter from a different person’s attic…obviously only a deranged mind would attempt such a thing, and it would be completely irresponsible to pass that kind of information around or even perpetuate such a rumor by mentioning it on your own site.  All I am saying is there are mice in my attic and somehow Joe had knowledge of this that he didn’t get from me directly – I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

I do suggest you buy as many copies of AFRAID as you can afford.  He really was serious about the porn:

AFRAID comes out March 31st.  Visit Joe at his other sites…there is more information on them than you can wiggle a stick at:


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  1. JA Konrath

    Thanks for having me here, James. I dug your short stories. You have a new fan.

  2. zombie0.com

    Thanks, I always appreciate that – can’t wait for AFRAID!

  3. jane, candid

    Very funny interview. Once again, through the blog tour I find myself on a site that, had I clicked here by my own unfortunate accident, I would have clicked VERY QUICKLY to get somewhere else without even reading the blog. However, once here via Joe’s effective brainwashing, I actually find some interesting things by this author. Nice job, James. Who knew that masthead could be on content so eye-opening??

  4. zombie0.com

    Thanks, Jane….my site is only required to wear a minimum of 15 pieces of flair, but it’s just not the kind of site that wears the bare minimum. If the constant flashing isn’t threatening to cause seizure (only one report thus far) then please consider returning…I’ll be posting more short stories and sample chapters of the novel as the publication date gets closer. The book (unlike my site) is quite serious, and I think if you like science fiction, thrillers or mysteries it will be up your alley.

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